


Desire

by Faestae



Series: Desire [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Consensual Sex, Dirty Thoughts, Dom!Kylo, F/M, Masturbation, One Night Stand, Oral Sex, POV Female Character, Poe Dameron is kind of a scum bag, Rough Sex, Smut, force mind reading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:31:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6455959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faestae/pseuds/Faestae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jakku--The Outer Rim. A lustful rendezvous with star Resistance  pilot Poe Dameron has left you a prisoner of the terrible First Order. Now, both of you have been captured and First Order Commander Kylo Ren has kept you alive. But why?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakening

In your mind, you saw it and between your legs, you felt it.

Warm hands caressing your hips, and warmer breath from cool lips brushing against your flesh. Your hands were grasping at the bedroll inside the tent, curling your toes in anticipation. Outside, the Jakku darkness was silent, all except for the shifting of bedrolls and the occasional gasp.

The one that followed was from your own lips. It escaped suddenly, and Poe grinned from between your legs. Waves of goosebumps rippled from the spot his lips touched, and the throbbing sensation that followed in your stomach pushed your hips into his nose. He welcomed your hips, moaning in anticipation into your skin. He wrapped his arms around your hips, securing your trembling body, locking you down. You felt his breath quicken on your flesh, his lips curling into his shit-eating grin.

The kisses were soft, trailing around your tummy, getting closer to your warmth with every breath, drawing your body heat to his salivating mouth. You whine, but he goes slower, squeezing every inch of your skin he can grab in his hands. You felt his breath halt over your womanhood. He was so close, you felt his tongue graze you when he licked his lips.

Your moans were more frequent now, growing in intensity. You squeezed your eyes shut, swallowing hard the temptation to cry out.

“Come on, now,” he breathed. “Beg for me.”

 --

You wake before contact. The air before your eyes is vibrating, and your brain rattling back and forth between your ears. Pain sears your body and you writhe, tossing your head to one side, then the other. Your wrists and ankles refuse to move, tightly bound under steel shackles. You remember where you are. You remember a storm trooper had knocked you in the back of the head when you had your back turned. You had been dragged onto a First Order Transporter and shipped to an undisclosed location.

You were now a prisoner of Kylo Ren.

The chrome plated mask stares expressionlessly at you. There is no motion, just the air in between your faces vibrating erratically.

“You wake,” rumbles the voice through the mask. The air snaps back to stationary and the silence rings like a shrill bell. You squeeze your eyes shut, still feeling a throbbing below your belly button. Still, he doesn’t move. “I was beginning to enjoy that,” he mutters.

Your voice comes back broken and quiet, “Stay out of my head–”

“–Your feelings are unreciprocated,” his voice is low, almost inaudible when he cut you off. “I have seen his thoughts,” like a path winding down a dark and dangerous forest, his voice trails. “There isn’t a body in the Resistance his mouth hasn’t touched. Man and woman, I’ve seen them all.”

You can’t bring yourself to speak, but your heart pains in your chest. You know Poe has made love to nearly everyone in his squadron. Despite that, the burning in your gut hasn’t gone away. It is contracting and flowing down in between your legs, tickling along the edge of your womanhood. Your eyes find the faceless mask again, and you realize the feeling didn’t subside. You remind yourself of Poe, flushing at the memory of his mouth buried to the chin in your pleasure.

“You want to know about the pilot,” Ren muses, his voice growing deeper and slower with every word until the last syllable disappeared in a hiss “even still, and the thought of his sex sends shivers into places you think I can’t see.”

You snap your head away from his expressionless mask, and he lets you look away. Your breath finally slows down, as the tension gripping your sex drive is released. You identify this new tingling as fear, but it all feels the same.

“You will be relieved to know he is safe. A bruise or two.”

Relief overcame you, but he yanked your face back to look at his, the Force gripping your cheeks with great pressure. Hope piques in your womanhood at the thought there was even a chance Poe could be back there, salivating in your folds. When the Force subsides, you tilt your head up to avert your eyes and flushing cheeks.

“I promise you will feel at home here,” Kylo Ren shifts only slightly, tilting his head as if to follow the contour of your jaw with his own. “No expense will be spared in regards to your comfort, I assure you.”You don’t reply, however, contemplate the need to complain about the restraints. You swallow your comment, and Kylo rises to his feet.

“Sweet dreams.”

The sliding of a heavy metal door, followed by the swish of a black cape, then a boom into deafening silence


	2. A Simple Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haunted by the same reoccurring dream, you toss and turn in your sleep, and when you wake, you're sweaty and cold, but indescribably aroused. And he's always there--Kylo Ren. There must be a reason you're still breathing. You're about to find out.

_Poe was biting his lip, pushing you to bend over forty-five degrees in the compacted space, your bodies pressed together._

_His hand was inside the waist-line of your robe-like skirt, pushing your legs apart. He was reaching under your hips, pumping your throbbing entrance with two fingers up to the third knuckle._

_Your moans were breathless as his long skilled fingers worked you for at least the thirtieth time. With his trousers at his ankles, jacket thrown over a bucket on the floor, he maneuvered your pleasure. His cock was hard and pressed against your back, roughly rocking his hips into your rear. His other hand grasped possessively at your breasts, kneading your nipple between his thumb and forefinger._

_His pace was relentless, ramming his fingers into your g-spot, running his fingers in circles at their deepest._

_You could feel yourself nearly dripping into his hand with every deep moan he sang into your ear._

_Suddenly, he yanked his hand out and flipped you around, pushing you roughly into the dark closet wall. You inhaled sharply, prepared for a kiss, but your lips didn’t meet that time, or the time before that. Instead, they found a home on your neck his smooth tongue tasting the sweat that began to form. He clamped his hands around your wrists, pinning you back, trailing his wet lips to your puckered nipple._

_His hands travelled down the length of your forearms gripping your torso, and cradling it to his lips. You pushed your fingers into his dark hair, gripping it lovingly, feeling his groan on the tender skin of your breast. He sank lower onto his knees, his hands trailing down as he went as if praising every inch of your body._

_You pushed your hips down into his mouth and he accepted your clit on his tongue without hesitation. He reached around, pulling your ass towards him, feverishly flicking his tongue back and forth, dipping into your folds without letting up._

_The orgasm was imminent and quick. He had been eyeing you all day from across the control room and you pretended not to notice, but his fever was contagious. He charmed your way into the hallway late at night, but after that, you couldn’t resist. The crescendo ripped through your body like a blaster shot to the chest. You bucked your hips into his mouth and choked on your next breath._

_Without missing a beat, Poe yanked you down to his level, pressing your foreheads together. Hungrily, you grabbed his cock, pumping it skillfully, running the length of it, stroking his softest spot with your thumb. You remembered how he liked it, how to make his heart race, and it did, you could see the blood rush to his cheeks and his breath come quicker. Your noses brushed, and you could feel your lips aching for his._

_Choking back a moan, he came into your hand and you let him go, shoving him to the closet floor. You mounted him with your lips, suckling every bit of his juices from his groin. He took a fistful of your hair, rubbing your nose and mouth in and around him before slowing to a stop. You could see his grin in the darkness, but your heart was still cold. You crawled up over his heaving chest and laid your head over his heart. He cradled your head there, allowing you to listen to his heart. It was warm, and yours was not._

\--

Your eyes flutter open to a dampness in your panties, again. Like waking up after a sleepless night with Poe, you feel abandoned. Your heavy head weighs down on the silk pillow, but you can’t remember falling asleep like this. Something is wrong.

You snap up, the blood rushing to your head. You aren’t in your cell anymore. A shadow is cast from the viewport where standing with his back to you, is Kylo Ren. The chains from your wrists are gone, and you rub them tenderly. Your clothes are clean, not they’re not your pilot gear and respirator, but a silk robe that was loosely draped over your shoulders and through your arms.

Heat radiates from the walls where streaks of a light saber had damaged them. Sparks are still sizzling on the cold black tile all leading to Kylo’s jagged light saber on the ground beside the bed where you had woken up. He had been mad, infuriated, but the calm is sincere now. He was quieted.

You wonder if you were still dreaming, but the air was not heavy as it was in your mind. You are alert now, and sitting up, in full control of your body.

“You wake,” Kylo drones. His back is facing you still. You can see the light surrounding the viewport reflect off ridges in the floor he had sliced nearly apart. The destruction stopped at his feet, tracing all around the room.

“Why am I still alive?” You feel the question is stupid, but the fact that you were not only alive, but no longer bound in chains, begged the question.

Kylo remains still, “Would you like me to kill you instead?” his response is curt, “Make it so your beloved and the rest of the Resistance will never see or hear from you again?”

His words make your chest ice over and you swallow down the lump that formed in your throat. You think of Poe again and wondered if he would mourn your passing. Would he take revenge on Kylo Ren himself? Or would your memory be lost forever, your name damned to a shiny plaque in the Resistance base.

Resignation washes over you and you lower your eyes. The thought you had replays in your head again, the lump in your throat harder to swallow down a second time.

“How does it feel then?” he turns his head away from the viewport, but not quite towards you. “To come to your senses after all this time,”

Chills race down your spine and your hand clutches the thin sheet, drawing it closer to you for comfort. You realize he’s been in your head—you feel picked at, vulnerable. Pain pangs in your chest and you clench your fist in the silky sheets in dizzying disbelief, “Why do you care?” you whisper.

“I am in need of your trust,”

“My trust?” you hiss. That word, ‘trust’, strikes new anger in you. It absolutely insults and infuriates you. The fire courses through your body and you find your gusto again. You kick your legs to the side of the bed and rise to your feet, take several strong paces towards Kylo Ren. “Why? So I can tell you everything I know about the Resistance?”

“No,” he replies simply turning his head back to the galaxy outside.

You stop.

He kneads his gloved hands together as they sat at the small of his back. “That will come in time,”

“As if,” You snap through your teeth, “I would never betray the Resistance in favor of you First Order assholes.”

He relaxes his shoulders, and the tension in the air suddenly subsided. It is then you realize he was still fuming. The silence rings shrilly in your ears. “That is to be expected of a Resistance pilot,” he states. “Dignity, honor—” he turns, revealing to you his entire shadowy form; a monster clothed in layer upon layer of dark heavy cloaks and robes. Only the chrome grating over his eyes shines in the darkness, highlighted by the viewports inner rim-light. “Loyalty,”

Fear moves you back a small distance. “Curious how your lover fails to show even you the same respect.”

You’ve had enough. “Is that your plan?” you snap, “Insulting me, degrading me until I doubt whether or not I am worthy of serving the Resistance?”

He remains still, his hands behind his back. “I cannot earn your trust withholding the truth from you.”

“The truth,” you echo coldly.

He doesn’t reply.

“You wanna know the truth?” despite the fear that drove you away, you begin to approach again, taking one step at a time. “The truth is, you’re a fucking maniac.” Your heart leaps with every word. “The Galactic Republic destroyed the galaxy and you still seem to think that the same galaxy will welcome your regime with open arms?” You point your finger accusingly at him. “Your ambitions are poison, you’ll destroy everything that’s keeping our lives in balance! You’re a stain on this galaxy and I hate you! You—you—Mo–”

His hand shoots out from behind his back, reaching for your neck. Your next word is caught in your throat and you choke. The Force grips you relentlessly, throwing you back into the wall squeezing the air from your wind pipe. You claw at your neck, feeling the blood rush to your head.

“Are you finished?”

He releases you suddenly and you collapse against the wall. Wheezing, you shudder, your shaking knees barely supporting your body’s weight. The room spins in your vision and black specks flecked your field of view. The fury of your truth fueled rant subsides and there was silence again.

“Good. Now,” he pauses, approaching you where you stood, leaning back against the wall with all your strength, “Would you like to hear a truth of my own?”

Jaw clenched, you do not respond, just continue to force oxygen into your bloodstream.

“I am sure you are aware of my,” he draws his next words out, “temperamental nature.”

You cough suddenly and violently.

“My displeasure easily resorts to violence and violence has a tendency to leave a mess. Don’t you agree?”

Bracing yourself against the wall with your arms, you try to raise your head slowly, following the trail of heavy black robes to that emotionless chrome helmet. He stares down at you, still and menacing, and you, unable to respond, are forced to remain pinned to the cold wall, still a prisoner.

He draws himself closer to you, his mask inches from your face. “But I watch you when you sleep. I see inside your mind,”

Ice sweeps through your chest.

“I’ve seen you at the mercy of your pilot. I’ve seen it all. Seeing you weak—seeing you vulnerable.” His voice lowers to barely a whisper, “In your dreams, I am the hands that toy with you, the mouth that pleasures your flesh, and the orgasm that makes you howl. To see you break down your walls, to submit wholly as you do–”

He stares at you from behind the mask and you take a breath.

“I feel in control. It calms me.”

You realize you have no more words to say. Your body is trembling with both fear and rage, but you can’t bring yourself to fight him. The realization that he could kill you finally sinks in.

“Now, I ask you to indulge me,” continued Kylo Ren. “Indulge me in your pleasure. Show me how weak you really are.”


	3. Do You Desire Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He must be out of his mind. There's no way this is happening.

The sheer audacity of his request struck you so silent, you didn’t breathe for a short period of time. He wants to fuck you. 

Your mind suddenly fills with images of Poe’s angelic face sucking on your bellybutton replaced with the cold steel mask; without a mouth, only bone-chilling ice that rattles your nerves.

“You’ve got something on your mask,” you whisper, trembling with rage.

He doesn’t reply.

You spit. Your saliva speckles the shining steel, and he remains perfectly still, as if considering slapping you across the face.

He doesn’t. Moving only his hand, Kylo simply unlatches his helmet. There was a hissing sound, and the mask came off in one smooth motion. Heavy locks of dark hair are finally freed, falling in light waves behind his ears. His eyes stare you down with malice, yet they shared the color of fresh honey. Beauty marks generously dot his nose and mouth, his aggressive cheekbones trailing down to his plump lips.

“Your demeanor changes,” he states. His voice is soothing outside of the menacing mask. It’s deep, and rumbles down in places you dare not describe.

You try to catch your breath. Poe’s face in your day dream turns into the handsome Kylo Ren and your mind collapses in an uncontrollable avalanche of dirty thoughts; you can’t stop them once they start. You can see his plump lips hanging open in pleasure, his speckled cheeks when they flush—you imagine him throbbing under the heavy layers of black.

“Fear and lust,” he whispers, “They’re both the same. All just a pulsing between your legs. You want to run from me, but I can feel you desire me. Tell me,” he continued, “Do you desire me?”

Your head is screaming, common sense begging you to think of anyone else. Anyone else but Kylo Ren.

“Is it because your lover never looks you in the eye when he fucks you?”

His eyes find yours and you can’t look away. You can’t answer, but you know it’s true and it pains you.

“Is it because he never penetrates you, or kisses your lips,”

Again, you’re struck silent.

“and tell me why he ignores you except when he needs to be satisfied.”

You don’t move. A single tear wells up in your eye and it rolls down your cheek as your eyes fall out of focus in the black fabric of his robes.

His hand raises and you flinch, but with one finger of his dark glove, he wipes your tear away. The act of kindness catches you off guard, and you raise your eyes to his face. He is looking at your lips endearingly, running his gloved thumb over the curvature of your mouth. He’s so close, every breath he takes washes over your face. He sucks in his bottom lip and breathes once, your womanhood trembles.

“I ask you again,” Kylo raises his eyes to yours, pressing his hand against the small of your back, pulling you easily toward him, “won’t you indulge me?”

You try to hold your breath, but your foreheads are touching now and he is _really_ close now. His voice is sweet like the honey in his eyes and you can’t take your eyes off of him. You want him to fuck you, but the words don’t come out. This new burning sensation that rips through your body like a wildfire is begging for him in a way you’ve never begged for Poe.

“Yes,” the word spills from your lips.

He catches your mouth in his and the sensation sends a jolt of arousal into your womanhood.

His kiss is dizzying, and pressed against the wall you feel an entire galaxy swirling inside your chest.  When you close your eyes, you’re lost in the smell of him and the feeling of his gloved hand slipping behind your neck. Using his other hand, he pulls you to him, gripping your robes tightly in his fist.

Mid-kiss, you open your eyes. You could count the freckles on his cheeks, and feel the warmth of him. His long eyelashes are fluttering against his cheeks, and when he opens them, your eyes meet.

Kylo slows down, drawing out the last few seconds of your lips touching. He pulls away just inches from you lips, his eyes fixed your flushed cheeks and your mixed saliva stringing between your lips. He licks his bottom lip and you shudder watching the way his tongue flicks across his mouth.

You realize you’ve never felt this way before. While lust throbbed in your folds, you couldn’t deny the tenderness in his lips. Were you delusional, having never kissed Poe? Were you misled?

His eyes softened when they met yours, and he took a shaky breath, hesitating to kiss you again. The malice in his eyes subsided to tenderness and the hand that was caressing your cheek. Weakness flashed in his eyes, and you caught it. You could see him tremble, his own vulnerability stopping him from advancing.

Diving in is inevitable. You reach up to his face, cupping it in your hands, his skin prickling in anticipation under your fingers.

“Do you desire me?” you echo his words in a whisper.

Kylo doesn’t answer, but grits his teeth. Something inside him is ticking, frustration is building in him. You stoke his cheek with the same tenderness his lips showed you, and he trembles.

You press him a second time, “Do you—”

“—yes,” he breathes onto your mouth, raising his eyes to yours.

Without hesitation, you shove your lips together again, this time more passionately. Kylo takes a fistful of your hair in his gloved hand. You gasp into his mouth and he consumes it hungrily, finding your bottom lip and sucking on it.

You bite down on his lip and he gasped sharply, shoving you back away from him.

Fear rises in your chest, sinking your heart into your stomach as you watch him breathe with his entire chest.

Kylo stares at you hungrily, heaving. Slowly, he ran the back of his glove across his lip, catching a drop of blood. He pulls the glove off, letting it drop to the floor.

“Strip,” he growls.

Your hands fumble with your robe, pulling it desperately from your body as he watches you. His eyes trailed down the front of you and from underneath his robes, you could see a hint of his desire. He grabs you by the arms, tossing you down on the bed, staring at your naked body. Without taking his eyes off of you, he unfastens his belt and it clatters to the floor.

All that’s left is his robe, that with every heaving breath he takes, shows a little more of his chest. Your eyes follow the curvature of his chest all the way down to his belly button where a few light colored hairs trail down to a shadow covered by his robe. Your womanhood contracts and you bite your lip.

Kylo Ren is shredded.

His next command is easily issued, “Touch yourself.”

You pull your legs apart one at a time, tucking your feet under your knees, exposing yourself to him. You’re already wet; you can see him from in between your knees, his hands shaking. Propping yourself up on one arm, you reach down to your entrance, circling your lips with your first two fingers.

He watches as you sink two fingers inside of you, his chest rising and falling in anticipation. You can see him resist the urge to grab himself, and suddenly you are in control.

You watch his eyes watch your fingers as your maneuver yourself, rubbing your fingers in circles, pushing in only when you catch him leaning forward. And when you do, you moan; sweet and sensual moans that are making Kylo tremble.

You’re gentle with yourself, feeling the pleasure rise in a slow burn from your tummy to your chest. “Ohh, Kylo,” you whine.

Your words pull the trigger; he advances, throwing the robe to the floor.

You crawl back until your back hits the headboard and in a matter of seconds, he’s between your knees, his reddened lips poised to mount you. He grabs you by the hips, shoving you back onto the bed, burying his mouth into your pleasure.

With a cry, your head falls back against the sheets, feeling the pleasure mount in waves as he pushes his tongue inside of you, tasting every morsel of the juices that secreted from you. Your fantasy nightmare is realizing itself. It was easy to forget Poe when Kylo Ren felt this good. Your head started to spin as he begins digging his fingernails into your flesh, his tongue mercilessly prodding at your swollen clit. The sight of his masculine face buried to the chin in your sex makes your body flush in submission.

He flashes his honey-colored eyes at you and you instantly melted into his mouth. You’re fighting the urge to come early, but his tongue is urging you too hard.

Kylo suddenly pulls his mouth away from you and crawls in between your legs, licking his swollen lips. Without hesitation, he pushes two of his own fingers into your mouth, forcing you to suck on them. Your tongue pushes in between his salty fingers, swirling them around your mouth.

When he pulls his fingers away, he pushes his reddened lips onto yours and taste your desire for him on his lips. You push your fingers into his ruffled hair, gripping it passionately. He breaks your kiss to moan, and it resonates in your pleasure.

With his saliva-coated fingers, he met your pulsing sex, using his slimy fingers to open you to him. He rubs your length with the entire length of his hand, alternating flicking his fingers on your clit, and palming it in rough circles.

Pleasure racked your body and you gasp sharply, bucking your hips into his hand. The movement of your hips push one of his fingers into your folds, and he slowly pulls it back out again. He pushes his finger back in, curling it up and rubbing your g-spot.

He fingers you in three swift motions, one; the full length of this two fingers, lifting your hips with his forearm. Two; slapping your g-spot, and three, sliding out as if to give you a moment to catch your breath.

You can’t bear to keep up and you feel yourself again being dragged to the edge of an orgasm. You break the kiss to cry out, pushing your head back against the headboard. You squeeze your eyes shut, and the second you do, Kylo grabs your chin and presses your foreheads together.

“Keep your eyes on me,” he growls.

You’re suddenly embarrassed, fighting the urge to come in his hands.

“I can’t hold on,” you admit in between heavy panting breaths. “Fuck me.”

The words spill from your lips and you can’t take them back. He stops fingering you slowly, removing his fingers and licking your juices from them, eyes still glued to your blushing cheeks.

“Please,” you pant.

He reaches around under your torso and lifts you upright into his arms, securing your legs around his waist. Maneuvering to the edge of the bed, he plants his feet on the ground and lowers your hips onto his cock.

Penetration is slow, but breaking the barrier where your lips were dry, he slides right in, the entire length of his cock disappearing into your womanhood.

Kylo draws a sharp breath, a barely audible ‘fuck’, escaping his lips. His width pushes you apart and you moan, exposing your neck to him. He wraps his arms tightly around you, grabbing as much of your sweating flesh he can. He looks up at you endearingly, biting down on his lip to keep himself from groaning. You free his lips with your own, kissing him as he lifts you up, letting you slide back down on your own.

The rhythm is steady. You’re pushing up and sinking back down as he digs his fingernails into your hips. He’s looking up at you, his eyes searching your face for signs of pleasure, begging for your lips.

The pace quickens, you kiss again and it ends with Kylo biting hard on your bottom lip, pulling back until your lip peels from his teeth.

Faster, now. He’s panting, gripping your buttocks to the nail, bouncing you greedily on his cock. He’s given up kissing you, instead, he clamps his mouth down on one of your bouncing breasts.

Faster. He bites down on your nipple and you nearly scream, grabbing what you could of his hair before ripping his head up from your chest to kiss you again.

Your orgasm is imminent, but you don’t want it to end, and as the excitement mounts, you feel his cock begin to throb inside of you. “Don’t stop!” you sob, “Oh fuck, don’t stop!” Your flesh is slapping together at a phenomenal rate, and you let yourself bounce on him like a child on a trampoline, pounding you again and again, over and over.

In an instant, you come. The pleasure washes over you like the rush of hyper drive; stars race by on the inside of your eyelids and you grip your lover with your entire being, squeezing him to you.

Your nails dig into his flesh and he cries out in delirious ecstasy. He returns the favor, gripping you greedily, tipping his head back and howling. He picks you up one last time, removing you from his cock and setting you down on his lap, coming hard onto your tummy.

Then, the quiet settles in again. He is staring down at himself, still with his arms around you, breathing heavily.

You raise his head to yours and he looks at you tenderly. You cup his face in your hands and kiss him deeply, allowing the buzzing in your head to subside to blissful tranquility. He savors the last moment of your kiss, snaking his arms up your bare back before pulling away, hovering inches from your lips.

“Your pilot,” he whispers to you. “He’s escaped.”

You don’t respond, but your chest is trembling with adrenaline. He turns away from you, lifting you up and setting you down beside him on the bed. He pulls his robe back over his shoulders, hiding his body from you once more.

“Along with a Stormtrooper, one of my own…FN-2187.” Kylo rises to his feet and takes a few small steps, regaining his composure, and running his fingers back through his hair. He fluffs it back out of his face.

Poe is free. You couldn’t deny your excitement. Despite the conflicting butterflies that dance inside your chest, you hope he’s alive. For the General’s sake, and with that, you’re reminded of your sworn oath to serve the Resistance.

“You are to be returned to Jakku by the planet’s nightfall. There, you will be left to find your way back to the Resistance.”

Freedom. But something pulled you back from entertaining that idea. You push a lock of your hair back behind your ear. Despite that, anger throbbed in you. To use you, to abuse your emotions, and to set you free. This made Kylo Ren no better than Poe Dameron.

“So that’s it then,” you say softly.

Kylo turns to you as you stand. You walk silently across the cold floor, and pick up your robe from the floor. He doesn’t take his eyes off of you as you dress, admiring the last glimpse of your body before it disappears behind the cool silk. “Yes,” he speaks the words as if there is no alternative. He straightens his shoulders. “I’ve arranged a transport to take you there unharmed.”

The room gets stiff, dry static hanging from the ends of your hair on your head and on your arms. The spot you stare at on the floor blurs together with the rest of the room, and you can feel the tears well up. “That’s fine,” you quickly correct yourself, “—thank you.” You bite down on your finger habitually, chewing on it.

This was foolish. You try to shake the thoughts from your head, but every breath you take brings you back to this moment. You can feel your heart screaming, and your head begging your heart to understand. This feeling, this burning in your chest, it was all the same as before. The same as the first night Poe pulled you by the heartstrings to make love. It was love, and when it happened the second time, third time, it never faded. But he never kissed you, and he never did anything more. But you never changed. Your heart went back to the first night, when it was ablaze with something you had never felt before. Love.

And it was happening again right now.

When you whirl around to face him, your eyes meet inches apart. You open you mouth, ready to confess and he raises his hand to your temple. “I’m sorry,” he breathes. The room fades to black.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's escaped and he's left you behind. Maybe he didn't mean it..maybe he forgot about you, but Kylo Ren didn't. He stripped you down to your bare form and loved you like Poe never did. And love burned hot in your chest, but he's prepared a shuttle to return you to Jakku. You don't want to go, and neither does he, but this would never work. It just won't.

You didn’t remember much after that. Not after he put his hand against your temples and flicked a switch in your consciousness. You remember his sweet face, and his eyes like fresh honey, then the ceiling, then darkness.

It started with the rattling.

You felt yourself being bumped up and down, harder until your head fell back. A hand cupped the back of your head and curled it back toward your chest. You remember the shuttle now. It arrived shortly after you fell into Kylo’s arms, and you remember being carried aboard.

You struggle to open your eyes, but there was a heaviness in your chest, like you had been sedated. In your thin line of vision, you could see his jaw pulled tight. His mask was off, and the grip on your arm and behind your knees told you this was no dream.

Kylo’s eyes were fixed on the door as a Stormtrooper entered the cabin.

“Sir, we’ve entered Jakku’s planetary airspace.”

Kylo did not respond, simply nodded, and the Stormtrooper retreated back to the shuttle’s control room.

The silence of the cabin rang in your ears, and when he took a breath, it echoed in your head.

“I cannot expect you to forgive me for my cruelty,” he says quietly. “I now know what you think of me—no better than your pilot.” He choked back a shaking breath. “I had hoped,” he continues, “to redeem you from him. Knowing he’s never seen you like I have. I hoped to change your mind.”

Clarity blessed you, and his face came into focus in what you could see from your tired eyes. He knew you were awake—just enough to hear him.

“I understand now.” He’s mindlessly rubbing your arm with his gloved thumb. “I understand why you still seek him out. Despite how he neglects your feelings. Despite how he loves and leaves you time and time again.” He takes a short pause, taking his time to breathe as deep as his trembling would allow. “It is the in between. The racing of your heart when you look at his face, even when you know he can’t see you. The catching of your heart in your throat when your fingers brush. That is what really matters to you.”

You realize he’s seen much more than you had been led to believe. And as he spoke, you imagined those moments in your heavy head. Poe’s smile was so sweet, and you remembered that first day all over again. But the feelings didn’t return. The memories had been touched, turned dark.

“I have felt it myself,” his voice is barely audible. “When I look at you. I understand now that you are my desire. That is my truth.”

Paper-thin film between your lips break as you open your mouth to speak and without looking down, he puts his fingers over your lips. Before you could pronounce even the first syllable of his name, he shushes you.

“Ben,” he whispers, fixing his gaze back on the door. “My name is Ben,”

“Ben.” His name fills you with something fresh. A feeling of alertness. Your body fights to move, but he tightens his hold on you.

“Rest,” he urges you, “you’ll need your energy for your return.”

You obey, your eyes fluttering shut, lulled into a trance.

“Sir.” The Stormtrooper returns, “We’ve landed.”

“Leave us,” Ben grunts.

You go with him, up to his feet, head and legs dangling like a damsel. With a hiss, the door opens and a rush of hot Jakku air swirls inside the First Order transport shuttle. He cradles your face away from the sand that picks up, and takes long strides down the ramp into the sand.

The sun that hits your face is overpowering, and you can feel the goosebumps on your arms fade into beads of sweat.

Ben walks carefully across the sand, as not to rouse you, before deciding on a suitable spot to place you. He gets down on one knee, laying your delicately in the warm sand.

“We will meet again,” he tries to sound sure, but you can hear the cracks in his voice. He takes a lock of your hair and removes it from your forehead, laying it back on your head. He leans down, pressing his lips against your forehead tenderly.

From inside his robes he produces your Resistance jacket, salvaged from your ship the night you were taken hostage. Gingerly, he lays it over you, shading your face from the harsh sunlight.

When he stands up again, you see his feet face you for a good while. He hesitates, and turns, a whirlwind of heavy black robes. The humming of the transporter rumbled inside your chest and it took off, leaving you stranded.

For hours, there was nothing. Nothing but the heat that soaked through your pilot jumpsuit, and the beads of sweat that trickled down your head. But Ben must have known. He knew you wouldn’t be here for long. You heard a voice, it was faint with nothing to echo off of.

“Y/N?”

From the tiny slits you can see through, you see the sand kick up. Boots slipping through the sand you feel the ground shift under you. They were advancing fast.

“Black leader to B3, black leader to B3!” shouts the voice.

Poe?

He has his lips to his communicator, barking commands to the rest of the squadron. “I’m sending you my coordinates now. I found her. I repeat, Black leader to B3, I found her.”

You are lifted off the sand, head dangling backwards, and he cradles you to his chest, “Oh..oh y/n.” he pants, clutching you with shaking arms. He brushes the sand and hair from your face, “Can you hear me?”

His name escapes your lips barely audible, your throat burning from the sand swirling into your nose and mouth. “Poe.”

He cradles your face to his chest, “It’s alright, kid, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. Just hold on for me.”

“B3 to black leader!” the communicator cackles and he brings it to his ear, looking up to the horizon. “B3 to black leader, we read you loud and clear. Sending a shuttle to your location.”

Poe turns to you, pulling you deeper into his chest, listening to the comm again,

“Tell her to hang in there, Poe.”

On your eyelids, you can see Ben’s face, his eyes staring straight ahead, bouncing on his exit from Jakku’s atmosphere. You see his eyes, that looked at you so tenderly, that watched you while you slept, that fell in love with you through your own eyes. You see his hands, kneading over each other, clammy and cold under his leather gloves. The entire cabin is vibrating, he can’t force his breathing into order, and you breathe softly for him, offering a pace. You imagine him lifting his helmet, securing the mask over his nose and mouth, snapping it into place; pausing before issuing a command to his attendants.

And when the shuttle arrives and you are lifted by Resistance medics onto a stretcher, Poe fighting to run beside you, you can hear it. When Poe, left with your jacket in his hand, notices, and thumbs over a laser burn on the collar of your jacket, you can hear it. When the medics put an oxygen mask over your nose and mouth, telling you to breathe deep, you can hear it. And as you drift back to the dark fantasies of your rendezvous, you can hear it.

_“You are my desire.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is actually the second ending for Desire. I initially intended this to be the final ending, but the requests for an additional part were pretty strong, so I did write more. However, in terms of plot, this is the strongest end point. The parts I added feature some arguing, flashbacks and then a final confrontation that I felt was cop-out because by this point, I was pretty tired of it. (Granted, I was writing other one shots and fics while it was ongoing.)
> 
> So that being said, if you would like me to publish the three remaining chapters, please leave your feedback in the comments and let me know! : ] Thank you all so much~


	5. Aftermath: A Desire fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days after your rescue from Jakku and the clutches of the First Order Commander Kylo Ren, you’re gathering yourself back up. Not only did Kylo Ren let you live after Poe’s dramatic escape, but he made mad love to you, bringing to light the truth about Poe’s true feelings for you, and planting a seed of desire in your heart. Now, back on the Resistance base, your estranged lover Poe Dameron is looking for you, desperate for answers you aren’t ready to give. Are you ready to confront him and come to terms with your feelings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of the continuation I posted for this fic a while back. I had debated adding this when I transferred this work from Tumblr to Ao3, but since the debacle with my work being stolen, I thought it best to add the whole thing for everyone to enjoy. There are two more parts in addition to this one to wrap it up, I hope you enjoy ^^

The hangar is quiet when you enter. The sun was rising and a mild darkness draped over the planet of D’Qar. It feels good to be outside, the cool air filling your lungs and the sounds of insects clicking in the trees outside the base.

It’s been hours since you’ve really been alone, not just sitting in a room where people couldn’t even look at you. Half the base was told you escaped with Poe and crash landed on Jakku, and the other half, a small percent, they only know you were found face down in a sand dune days later hundreds of miles away from the crash site of the TIE Fighter. You found it hard to keep those people apart, and before long, rumors sprouted. General Organa dispelled them to the best of her ability, but the whispers were catching up to you. No one trusted you; you could very well be a First Order sympathizer. Only the pilots in your squadron never questioned your return, just welcomed you home with open arms.

And Poe. Your last image of him was his knees getting kicked by a Stormtrooper, but you knew he was alive. Did he even think of you when he made his escape with that Stormtrooper? Did he even try to come back for you? You can’t remember much from the infirmary, just his voice speaking with the medical droid about your condition. When the droid took its leave, you felt his hand take yours again, brushing his lips against your fingers. He spoke to you in hushed tones, whispering onto your skin. You heard all manners of “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll never leave you again.”

Relief washes over you when you catch sight of your X-Wing. Jessika had told you they salvaged it from Jakku, made the necessary repairs and flew it back for you, and seeing it in the flesh wracked you with emotion.

It was dusty, but you ran your hand across it anyway. The sensation of the steel under your hand brought you back to this galaxy, this planet, right now. It brought you far away from the Finalizer. Away from Kylo Ren.

Despite it being days, his face in your mind haunted you. You repeated his name over and over again in your head, until you forgot that ‘Ben’ was a name,  _his_ name. You felt responsible for this great secret, a name he’s hardly uttered, his secret identity that was without a doubt infatuated with you.

A hand on your shoulder jolted you from your trance.

Violently, you whirl around, flinging your hands up to shield your face.

“Whoa, whoa, hey!” It was Poe. “Y/N, it’s me, it’s me,  it’s okay..”

Poe’s angelic face was struck with worry; an emotion you were sure you had never seen from him before. It was fresh to you, but made you no less startled.

You brace yourself on your X-Wing, turning away from him again, and pushing your hand up onto your forehead. “What do you want?” you sigh.

Poe frowns and takes a short breath, “I—uh..” he turns his eyes down, running one hand back through his tussled hair. “I’ve been looking all over for you..I didn’t know you were dispatched from the infirmary already.”

You’re clenching your hands now; coping. His eyes were glued to your head, pleading with you. You could hear the desperation in his voice, and it echoed in your wounded heart. “I wasn’t injured,” you say quietly, just loud enough for him to hear, “There was no reason to stay.”

“Can I talk to you?” he’s advancing now, hesitant to touch you, but you could feel him want to.

“You are,” your own words feel sharp on your tongue.

Poe breathes heavily, and you can hear him move. Suddenly, he’s in front of you, “I want to know what happened to you,” he presses.

You bring your weary eyes to him and they’re met with his own. For a split second, his face turns into Kylo Ren’s. He was gazing longingly at you, his eyes as soft as they were inside the First Order transporter.  _“Do you desire me?”_ You were tempted to reach up and touch him, but it dissolved back to the flustered face of Poe Dameron.

Poe lowers his voice to a hiss. “Half the base thinks we made if off the Star Destroyer together with Finn, and we both know that’s not true,”

The longer you look at him, the more you sense the air of desperation growing thicker. “First Order TIE fighters don’t seat three,” you say flatly, “it doesn’t take a genius.”

“And here you are—alive—l” he chokes back the trembling in his voice, taking a break from trying to get through to you. He paused to catch his breath and you curled yourself away from him again, towards the body of your X-Wing.

He finally put his hands on your shoulders, running down the length of your arms to your hands. “How did you escape the Finalizer?” he whispered on your fingertips. “Who can I thank for saving your life?”

Kylo Ren. The Commander of the First Order escorted you back to Jakku himself and laid you in the sand with a kiss on your brow. You could still feel his lips on your forehead, and in places you dare not describe. How could you forget how he made love to you? “ _Keep your eyes on me._ ” How could you forget your realization that Poe Dameron was using you?

“I walked,” you snarl.

Poe took another breath, but before he could speak, someone ran in.

“Commander!” they cry.

Both you and Poe turn to see Jessika Pava enter the hangar. She’s in a slight panic, out of breath, but there was a smile on her lips, “We found BB-8,”

Poe, however, couldn’t bring himself to smile, “Go on, Jess,” he urges her.

“It’s on Takodana with Han Solo, but the First Order is en route. General Organa wants us to bring the fight to them,” she says. “We don’t have much time.”

“Suit up,” Poe orders, “I’ll catch up with you.” Jessika nods and takes her leave. He turns back to you, “You stay here. We’ll talk when I get back.” Poe turns around and begins to leave.

“What?” Anger swells in you and you start after him.

“I said you’re staying here,”

“You can’t do that!” you snap through your teeth. You nearly trip over a tool kit, but you don’t stop following him.

Poe whirls around and stops you with one finger to your chest, “I am your  _commander_. You take orders from  _me_ ,” he asserts, pressing his finger into your sternum, “And I’m telling you to stay here.”

“If the Resistance goes, I go,” you return his stare with one just as fierce, swatting his finger away, “ _That’s_ how it works,”

“This is not up for debate, Y/N. You’re staying here.” Poe starts to walk away again, but you aren’t finished yet.

“You’re being selfish, Poe!” you shout.

“I’m not,” his response is muttered accompanied by a frown, “I’m looking out for you,” he pauses, “for us,”

“Us?!” You snatch his arm and whip him back around, “How  _dare_  you!” you voice drops to a menacing hiss, “First of all, you weren’t looking out for me when you pitched that tent in your pants on Jakku!”

Poe falls silent.

You catch your breath, “and second, there is no ‘us’. There never has been and there never will be ‘us’.” Each iteration of that word grew darker and harder on your tongue, “The only ‘us’ is you, me and the  _rest_ of the squadron going to Takodana to retrieve BB-8!”

Poe searches your face. You can see bags under his eyes, one for every hour he waited for you to wake up. He’s breathing hard through his nostrils, clenching his fists, unable to tell you the hours he argued with General Organa to organize a search party. How he was the only one who swore you were still alive, staying up until the morning light to scour Jakku for you.

The pilots of the red and blue squadron began to rush out. The base was coming alive now with the news of BB-8’s location, but you kept your eyes square on Poe.

“I almost lost you once,” he whispers. He’s gently jostled by the passing pilots. “I don’t want to risk losing you for good.”

“I’m not yours to lose,” you hiss.

Jessika is back now, and she tosses you your helmet. You catch it, still staring at Poe. “Let’s rock, kid,” she says. She gives you a firm clap on the shoulder and you finally shatter Poe’s stare, turning your back on him and falling into step with the rest of the blue squadron. Your heart was beating hot and hard in your chest. You felt the defiance of your screaming heart throb painfully against your chest. It wasn’t the first time you let Poe struck silent, but this time felt final.

You knew he was there and he wouldn’t stop staring, and before he could move, an astromech droid rolled out from behind him, clipping his heel. R4-M6 wheeled past Poe and squealed when it saw you.

Your face softens when you see the droid. “Hey, R4. You ready?”

Your co-pilot beeps and clicks happily.

“Let’s fly.”


	6. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback. You’re on the Finalizer, unconscious. Visions of Poe have been haunting you. You blame him for this–the whole thing! It’s his fault you were captured and if you never see The Resistance again, your blood would be on his hands. But you love him, and you hate that part of you because it damages you every day. Kylo sees that. He’s seen everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, just transferring the rest of this short conclusion. Just another flashback chapter where we actually see Poe being a dick. Enjoy ^-^

In your holding cell, there was silence.

And in his moments of rage, Kylo Ren found himself there. Occupying your silence with rage that only subsided when he saw your unconscious face with his own eyes. With his mask on the floor, he watched you, unobstructed by his fear of you. And he did fear you, of the things he could not understand.

Despite that, he admired your mystery; the Resistance pilot who knew nothing.  Nothing that pertained to the ball-droid BB-8, or the map to Luke Skywalker. Nothing he was searching for, or so he thought.

For days he watched you, leaned against the wall arms folded across his chest. Your silence gripped him by the chin and forced him to look at you, to study each curl of your hair, to the way your chest rose and fell in the silence. He hesitated to prod you, fighting his curiosity to see what you were seeing inside your head.

Without hesitation, he then stepped forward, keeping the palm of his hand inches from your face. The air started to vibrate between you, the Force pushing into the pores of your skin, reaching for your subconscious.

In an instant, he saw it: The curve of your bare spine, the flushing of your neck and face, a fistful of hair between your thighs, pushing a pair of lips deeper into your womanhood with a name on your lips, “ _Poe_ ,”

Kylo recoiled. He clutched his face, feeling the heat rise as if it were his head you clutched so desperately.  _The pilot_? He didn’t see you in Poe’s head, as much as he prodded and invaded him. And somehow, he was all you dreamed about. He heaved with his entire chest, sensing the distress that emanated from you. The silence was broken by your trauma and it beckoned him.  _Help me_. Without words, you screamed at him and he returned to you quickly, placing his hand on your forehead. 

Slowly, the silence returned, settling around you together, connected, hand to head. He pulled his hand away, respecting your silence, but there was something that still troubled you. It was deep, deeper than he wished to involve himself, but his anger fueled him.

Despite his hesitation, he prods you.

Your nightmare fantasy is over now and your mind is quiet. For now, anyway. There’s an thrill in your heart, and Kylo can feel it. He follows you down, deep into the warmth of your memory.

_You’re walking with a spring in your step down an empty hall. It’s a late night on the Resistance base. Giddy and in love, you’re day-dreaming again. Poe Dameron was in love with you, without a doubt, and you knew it. The glint in his eyes when he pulled his Simulator helmet off in shock of your victory over him, the astonishment of your true pilot prowess, the inevitable lust._

_You had been on with him for weeks after that first steamy rendezvous in the repair office, meeting in secret, pants on the floor, his tongue between your thighs. Again and again he fulfilled you until you begged for penetration. “Soon,” he would whisper to your folds. And soon was soon indeed.  
_

_As you neared the door of your meeting place, you stop suddenly._

_“Ohhh, Poe.”  
_

_It was a woman’s voice, but you thought this room would be empty. You take a small step closer, pressing your ear to the door, holding your breath._

__“Make me come, daddy!”_    
_

_A snicker. It’s Poe. “Hang on, baby. I think you got one more in you, hm?”_

_You clap your hand over your mouth, stumbling back from the door. This can’t be. No, no._ You’re frantic, a chill shakes Kylo as he holds your head steady.  _Falling back against the wall, you can still hear it. The sound of slapping flesh is ringing in your ears and you clutch your head. You realize you haven’t moved. The sound of the orgasm replaying in your head, you shake yourself free from the betrayal that rooted you._

_Footsteps approach the door._

_You run._

Kylo pulls his hand away, rubbing his gloved fingers together. Sympathy crosses his mind for a moment, and he hesitates, sitting down beside you. Your brows are pushed together. There’s still more. He breathes deeply, pressing his fingers back onto your hairline.

_Shame followed you everywhere the next day. You heard his moans in everything–chairs sliding across the floor, hysterical laughter from your bunk mates at something silly from the day before. You were zoned out, unable to accept that last night’s discovery even happened._

_“Hey, Y/N,” Jessika reached out and tucked your hair behind your ear. “You’re spacing again. Are you sure you’re alright?”  
_

_You snap up. You’re in the hall again, but the sun is out. At least you thought–the artificial light in the base deceived you more than just once. The base is bustling with early morning traffic. Pilots coming and going, preparing for some kind of dispatch.”Yeah!” you try to look her in the eye, but fall short._

_“You look tired,” she says quietly, “Did you sleep okay? Was it you know who?” she grins, and you shudder.  
_

_“I guess you could say that,”  
_

_“Speak of the devil,” Jessika raises her eyes over your shoulder and you freeze.  
_

_Poe is walking down the hall with confidence, without a shred of guilt. But you didn’t see that. Your back was turned and with every footfall of him getting closer, you tensed up tighter. You imagined what he looked like, in his signature flight suit, the image of perfection._

_“Hey, kid!” his heavy hand fell on your shoulder and you jump, “Pava,” he flashes a smile at your bunk mate.  
_

_Jessika watched you, and she frowned, sensing your internal distress signal. She shifted her weight to the other foot. “Commander,” she says not taking her eyes off of you._

_“Mind if I borrow her?” Poe squeezes your shoulder affectionately, but Jessika is not convinced. She takes a deep breath before responding,_

_“I’ll leave you two alone–” she looks back down at you, “let me know if you need me.” she turned on her heel and disappeared down the hall to the hangar._

_Poe came to the other side of you, to where he could see your eyes. He leaned against the wall, “Where were you last night?” he lowers his voice, his chocolate eyes twinkling at you suggestively._

_Panic swells in you and you choke on your next words. You suddenly remember the reason for your lack of sleep. You had been crying all night. It was about to happen again. “I..I forgot,”_

_“You forgot?” he grins, licking his lips, bringing his head close to yours and looping his thumb in your belt loop, “I doubt that.”  
_

_You look up at him, and never had you seen someone so beautiful. Your self-loathing forgave him. He was never yours. Not explicitly. He never mentioned anything like that, but you still loved him. Maybe you were over-committed. But gods, who wouldn’t be? Even a second of his time was worth a lifetime of yours. It felt natural to cherish any moment he spent with you, despite how much he spent elsewhere._

_“What am I to you?” the words erupt like vomit._

_Poe’s smile disappeared. He looked up over you shoulder, then around to the passing faces. “C’mere,” he put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you down the hall. Tucking you around the corner, out of sight of the rest of the base.  
_

_He puts his hands on your arms, “Is everything okay, kid? What’s gotten into you?”  
_

_Your breathing is hitching, you can’t focus, “Oh..oh boy..” you try to control it, but you can’t. the tears are flowing freely now, “Uhm…yeah..you know what–just ignore what I said, I’m fine. I’m okay.”_

_Poe frowned. This was your fault. You were early. He wasn’t finished…with the one before you. Who he’s fucked. But that isn’t you. Not yet. Soon. It was supposed to be soon._

_“Oh..” he’s struck with realization. The audible gasp, the footsteps outside the door. His heart sinks, “Babe..”  
_

_You fold your arms tightly to your chest, squeezing your shoulders in, “It’s fine–I get it..it’s fine.” you wave your hands he comes closer to you, avoiding any instance of looking at his handsome face.”Uhm..I’ll just–go. Get out of your hair..Maybe I’ll see you around,” you attempt an escape._

_“Hey hey!” he grabs your wrist and you stumble back.  
_

_Surprised you didn’t rip your arm away, he gets lost in your eyes. You stare at each other for a moment, there was silence. Poe’s looking down at you, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth, “Hey…I,” he takes a slow breath, “I still want to see you.”_

_“Why?” in disbelief, the word falls from you without warning._

_“I need you,”  
_

_“Poe..I,”  
_

_He pulls you back toward him, holding you by the waist, “Let me make it up to you.”  
_

_You’re shaken at his aggressive notion. Your womanhood clenches as he takes you into his hands, holding you like he always did–with a little bit of distance. Why were you just noticing this now?_

_“I’ve got to go to Jakku tonight. Will you meet me?”  
_

_“Jakku?” you’re dizzy now, unable to stop and decline. He’s pushy. You want him. “What for?”  
_

__He presses you again, his eyes deep in your own, as if dragging your response out himself,_  “Will you meet me?”  
_

_“Yes.” you breathe without hesitation.  
_

_With a kiss on your forehead, he’s gone, wiped clean of his sin, and you’re left in the crook of the hall, trembling._

_The tears are coming now, the heaviness is sinking in. You didn’t refuse him. You were supposed to be strong. You bite down on your fist, sinking to the floor. The dream turned dark, without control, the hall around you sinks down, and you’re spiraling, your sobs rising to screams that shatter_ Kylo’s influence.

Kylo sat back, panting. He was in for much too long, his sense of what was real or not hung by a thread, and dangling on the end was you. You were still tossing. He put his fingers back to your forehead. He couldn’t focus. The image of your body curled on the floor stuck to the inside of his head.

“Fool,” he snarled, his voice trembling.

You don’t reply. You’re still in your head, swimming in your nightmare.

“How willingly you go to your demise.” Despite his disappointment, Kylo is still drawn to you, like a moth to the tiniest of flames, he’s clinging to you; desperate for something he couldn’t place. He turns away, walks a few paces, fishing for more words to express his discontent, “Anyone could respect you more than Poe Dameron,” he spits his name like it’s poison. “And still you come crawling back. Why?”

In reply, you started to toss again. Another nightmare; the silence was compromised. Kylo snapped his gaze to you, feeling involuntarily alarmed. He rushed back, pinning his thumb and forefinger to your forehead.

But it wasn’t enough, you writhed under his touch, beads of sweat forming on your brow. Kylo’s chest iced over, unable to calm you, he exerted himself, forcefully pushing his influence into your head.

_You’re on your back, hands gripping the sheets. You spent the entire flight to Jakku in tears, but Poe’s mouth pushed those thoughts away from you. He was there, grabbing you by the waist, licking his lips inside of your womanhood._

_But it wasn’t Poe that pushed you._ Kylo’s influence was too strong, it tainted your memory, but he reveled in it, feeling his body heat up. He was in control.  _You writhed under his mouth, begging for mercy, but there was none. Kylo rode the fantasy like a rogue luggabeast, running his hands on your bare body, loving every direction you cringed, giving a new angle for his ravenous mouth. Poe was almost gone now, leaving the specter of Commander Kylo Ren in his place._

_Moans are rising, Kylo can hear it in his own, despite, piggybacking off of your unwarranted fantasy._

_There was no stopping him, the humming into your folds, the nibbling of your sopping wet sex, the nail marks in your thighs and buttocks. Relentlessly, he gripped you locking you down and making you scream._

_You look down your body at him, desperate to see his face, but it is not who you anticipated. The memory is dark again, an intruder is driving now, pushing you to the edge. Kylo hasn’t stopped, despite commandeering this fantasy. “Come,” he demands._

_“Kylo!”  
_

In one swift motion, Kylo snapped back to the holding cell. You were quiet now, but the restraint that held you was gaping. The fantasy reigned the commander into releasing you, holding you against his body by the small of your back, his gloved hand hovering inches from your face. Your body slumps and your head falls back. He catches you easily.

Winded, he held you, letting his breath return slow. As the silence settled back in, he hesitates to return you to the restraint. Your nightmares were going to return, he was sure of it.

Careful not to rouse you, he sits down, pulling your torso to his chest, and cradling your head in his gloved hand. Your legs fell on either side of his, slumping forward into his chest, your forehead resting on his shoulder. 

Breathing in, he embraces you, pushing his nose into your hair, drawing your scent into him. His touch stimulated you, sending tremors of alarm where his hands gripped you, but soon you were calm, understanding this warmth was not there to harm you.

“I have you, you fool..” he breathed, your pain meeting his where your hearts beat against each other, “Sleep.”


End file.
